Raising My Own Hell (November 2013)

Raising My Own Hell

Dear Mama

Patience Of A Saint

Four Letter Word

Shoes
Shadow Boxing

Raising My Own Hell

Raising my own hell
A private revolution
Taking steps to free myself
You might know me well
Well you think you do
So to save confusion
I can't abide all the heaven you sent
So I'm raising my own hell

Saccharine and sickly sweet
Those words of love will rot your teeth
Your breathe still stinks of lies beneath your smile

You sanitise the brutal facts
With Disneyland and laughter tracks
Well you've been off my facebook friends list for a while

That's why I'm raising my own hell
Part of the revolution
Taking steps to free myself (Yes I am)
You might know me well
Well you think you do
So to save confusion
I can't abide all the heaven you sent
So I'm raising my own hell

What's the story fill me in
Has your moral compass light grown dim
Has the land of the free ended up in chains

Your God, your guns, your rights prevail
As the bullets punctuate betrayal
But how you justify it still remains

That's why I'm raising my own hell
A private revolution
Taking steps to free myself (yes indeed)
You might know me well
Well you think you do
So to save confusion
I can't abide all the heaven you sent
So I'm raising my own hell

I watched you though a cathode lens
Your glow bathed me with me hand drawn friends
In your primary coloured tales I made a home

The hero beat the bad guy up
Now the bad guy's who we trust
No coincidence - you've been dethroned

That's why I'm raising my own hell
A private revolution
Taking steps to free myself
You might know me well
Well you think you do
So to save confusion
I can't abide all the heaven you sent
So I'm raising my own hell - saxaphone!

Well I loved you still despite yourself
I'm addicted to your merry wealth
Our hopes and faith and dreams that filled my head

But like a love affair gone bad
You were the best time I never had
That distant memory still fills me with dread

That's why I'm raising my own hell
A private revolution
Taking steps to free myself myself myself myself
You might know me well
Well you think you do
So to save confusion
I can't abide all the heaven you sent
So I'm raising my own hell
My own hell

Raising my own hell
A private revolution
Taking steps to free myself
You might know me well
Well you think you do
So to save confusion
I can't abide all the heaven you sent
So I'm raising my own hell
I can't abide all the heaven you sent
So I'm raising my own hell
I can't abide all the heaven you sent
So I'm raising my own hell
No I can't abide all the heaven you sent
So I'm raising my own hell


Dear Mama

I have discovered most of my own devices
Left alone long before I could crawl
Ignored by the hands that punched me into admitting
That I shouldn't have been born at all

Deaf to the torment numb enough to escape
To a fantasy world painted red
I never knew love that made feel like the anger
So believe in that feeling instead

Mama
I don't think you understand
What's living in my head
Is getting out of hand
Mama
Did I turn out as you planned?
Well I hate to disappoint you
But I'd do it all again
Dear mama

Teenage became another reason to hate
Loved destroying every good sight and sound
There wasn't a moment when I looked for an answer
Was determined it wouldn't be found

The devil inside keeps my ego running
Until I feel it crawling out my face
But like it or not I got a bad attitude
And disappointments that can't be replaced

Mama
Don't think you understand
What's living in my head
Is getting out of hand
Mama
Did I turn out as you planned?
Well I hate to disappoint you
But I'd do it all again
Dear mama
Mama
Mama

See how come I've a real cool swagger
Got the world in the palm of my hand
I do what like now I'm bigger and stronger
Now you're happy with all that I am

Boys will be boys so what's your problem mother
With me doing exactly just that
Daddy demanded he become my role model
Made his case with his boot and his strap

Mama
I don't think you understand
What's living in my head
Is getting out of hand
Mama
Did I turn out as you planned?
Well I hate to disappoint you
But I'd do it all again
Oh yes I would
Dear mama
Mama
Mama
Mama


Patience Of A Saint

At the age of dying
An old man said to me
Trust in God above my son
That's advice I can not heed

From my own vantage point
I can't believe my eyes
Each and every slash and burn
They're still asking why

If you're looking for the answers
I'd be willing to debate
If you seek them from the heavens
You'd better be blessed
With the patience of a saint
The patience of a saint
Patience of a saint

Well I hate to be so common
But I can not help myself
Cos I fucking sick of all that shit
About the dad, the son, the ghost

What happened to our intellect
Well I must have missed that text
Instructing us to ignore the facts
And to shelve our common sense
Yeah

If you're looking for the answers
I'd be willing to debate
If you seek them from the heavens
You'd better be blessed
With the patience of a saint
Patience of a saint
The patience of a saint

Oh my lord
Who are you
Oh my lord
You've got a lot to prove
Oh my lord
Who are you
Oh my lord
I don't think you're coming through

Well I am not a violent man at all
My nature won't allow
But I worked that fact out for myself
I didn't need to take a vow

It's funny how the vicious ones
Always justify their hate
With prayer and guns and holy books
The belief they will be saved
Oh what a loud of fools

If you're looking for the answers
I'd be willing to debate (yes I would)
If you seek them from the heavens
You'd better be blessed
With the patience of a saint
Oh yeah
Patience of a saint
The patience of a saint
The patience of a saint

Oh my lord
Who are you
Oh my lord
I don't think you're coming through
Oh my lord
Who are you
Oh my lord
You've got a lot to prove
You've got a lot


Four Letter Word

There's a rumour going round
You've been seeing someone new
There's a rumour going round
But it's too bad to be true

Yeah well that sweet sentiment
The feeling that we had once
When we tried to become one
Just did not have the guts

Four letter word
That tore us both apart
Four letter word
From the bottom of our hearts
How come the most important four letter word to say
Becomes the easiest to betray

There's a rumour going round
This pain will last forever
There's no solace to be found
And no words can make it better

Yeah but I don't wanna hear the truth
Cos I don't understand it
Yeah so I'll remain aloof
Pretend that's how I've planned it

Four letter word
That tore us both apart
Four letter word
From the bottom of my heart
How come the most important four letter word to say
Becomes the easiest to betray

I might be cruel enough to hate you
So close to where I need to get to
Cos four little letters mean that I can't forgot you
Though it's meanings so absurd
I can't deny my four letter word
No I can't deny my four letter word

How come the most important four letter word to say
Becomes the easiest to betray


Shoes

For most of us
This life is sweet
Warm and safe as houses
More than enough to eat

For other souls
The road is long
And littered with confusion
'til they can't carry on

If you think this world is hard on you
Try walking for a while in their shoes
The next time you feel hard done to
Consider for a moment
But for the grace of God there might go you

A beggar sits
Beneath the sky
He's barely noticed
By the people rushing by

His tired eyes
Have seen so much
Fighting for his country
Scarred by the wartimes' brutal touch

Before you ignore him why don't you
Try walking for a while in his shoes
We can't see every thing that's true
But take a moment think again
Perhaps the facts been hidden out of view

It's so easy passing comments every day
All guilty of believing how we live is the better way
Nobody has a greater right to the higher ground
There's a million different reasons
Where a reason can be found

This world of ours isn't black and white
There are shades of gray between us
And shadows hide the light

The needs of most
Outweigh the few
What's right to some is wrong to others
It's just a point of view

If you think this world is hard on you
Try walking for a while in different shoes
And don't presume to understand
Unless you've lived the same life
And experienced the same things
At first hand

Cos love and understanding
Still goes a long way to help us make it through


Shadow Boxing

I've been shadow boxing with myself
Even though it's no good for my health
I've got a good right hook
Took every blow that was dealt
Boxing shadows on the wall

I've been shadow boxing dodging the punch
Got two black eyes but I'm still standing up
If I fall down don't be counting me out
It's only shadows on the wall

You may think I'm crazy
You can knock me out of sight
You ain't seen nothing yet my friend
And I'm spoiling for a fight

I've been shadow boxing with myself
Am I caught on the ropes it's too early to tell
Never throw in the towel cos I don't need your help
Boxing shadows on the wall

At the point of contact I'll be waiting for the bell
In the next round I'll be back again to raise some hell

I'll be shadow boxing with myself
Even though it's no good for my health
I've got a good right hook
Took every blow that was dealt
Boxing shadows on the wall

I'll be shadow boxing
I'll be shadow boxing
Boxing shadows on the wall